Imago Relationship Therapy
Imago therapy was developed by Harville Hendrix and his wife Helen Huntin 1988. Imago means “image” in Latin and is based on an idea that we have an unconscious image forming since
An Imago therapist becomes a coach for couples, individuals, parents, and businesses who want to improve connection, raise consciousness and awareness, decrease reactivity, and foster a new way of being in relationship. The process transforms conflict into connection and understanding. The Intentional Dialogue teaches couples how to have safe conversations by mirroring, validating, and demonstrating empathy. The primary source of conflict in relationships is lack of communication.
Research shows that when listening there is a 13% accuracy rate and an 83% distortion rate.
Imago therapy provides tools and concepts that improve accuracy and restore safety to ruptured relationships. Mirroring is the processes of repeating back precisely what you are hearing without paraphrasing. This form of listening creates connection and can help the listener calm their reactivity by not automatically responding. Validation allows the “otherness” to be safe and allowed in relationships. If what someone says “makes sense” because you have listened to them, it does not mean that you agree; it allows the perspective of someone else to exist and helps transcend righteousness. Empathy is not sympathy rather it is an attempt to imagine what someone else may be feeling.
There is a quote by Bill Bullard, “Opinion is the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our ego and live in another’s world. It requires profound purpose, larger than the self-kind of understanding”
While this process is transformative, it is easier said than done and requires practice. Watch “Grow Your Guru” for numerous segments that will dive deeper into the theories and tools that will help improve your relationships.
